Manners, Decorum, and Shame

out at a restaurant last evening, a young lady in her 20s in a party of 10 or so, felt compelled to flash her already bare-ly clothed chest around the room on a few occasions, to be honest, the volume and content of the conversation at the table already had the rooms' quite undivided attention already. either these 'adults' had never learned basic manners, or didn't care. which are kind of the same thing.

Meh, a few murmurs, some pointing, a chuckle or two and the incident was forgotten by all. just another day in public 2020, 10 years ago: that would have been a bit risqué, 20: years ago she'd have gotten an earful from friends at the table and perhaps the rest of the room, 30 years ago: word gets around, and she'd probably lay low for a month or two while it blew over, 40 years ago her mother would whoop her stupid ass with a wooden spoon! 50 years ago: she'd probably be arrested. wait, who am i kidding, that shit didn't happen 50 years ago out in public.

maybe because we shared a common sense of public manners and decorum, and had a sense of shame for breaking them... for letting down the tribe so to speak.

"Shame should be reserved for the things we choose to do, not the circumstances that life puts on us"

-Ann Patchett